Monthly Archives: November 2012

is it a webisode? a vlog, a blog, a podcast? i’m pretty sure it’s not an original short. doesn’t that need, like, a plot or something? some sort of narrative? where’s the exposition, the complication, the crisis, the climax, the resolve? maybe it’s an anecdote. or like a poem. if it were a poem it would probably go like this:

the saddest thing i ever did see

was a woodpecker peckin’ at a plastic tree.

he looks at me, and friend, he says

things aint as sweet as they used to be.

that’s by shel silverstein. the track on the video is black flag. i’m pretty sure it’s called a webisode.

my g-friend courtney and i psycke on birds of prey. like seriously. she practices falconry and i’m just a fan. whenever we’re in california we’re constantly watching tree tops, light poles etc. for red tails or if we’re lucky, something sweet like a coopers hawk or a red shoulder. when we see one, she does this kermit voice like ‘oh yeeeaah, cool, man ‘ as if that’s what the hawk is saying to us, so i’ve almost begun to believe that hawks speak like that. she’ll bring home hawks and owls that she finds dead, hit by a car or whatever, there are many hazards for hawks, and give them a burial.  when we travel we research what sort of birds of prey lurk in the area and psycke out when we get to see one.

one day in france we were walking by the lake looking for spiders to film for craig’s movie, since he hates spiders, and i saw a bird writhing in the dead leaves on the ground. it was a eurasian hobby. we watched in disbelief as he took his last breath 10 seconds later. courtney says that maybe he died from eating a rat that had just eaten poison or possibly he flew into the wall chasing prey. we photographed him and dug a hole for him and then the sun came out for the first time that day. i wasn’t sure of his religious beliefs but based on the popularity of catholicism in france we gave him a cross. the full documentation is in ‘reality bites’

‘lifestyle’ is a new video in the player above.

‘lifestyle’ is what brands call images that aren’t surfing. like, photos of you walking down to check the waves, drinking a cup of coffee, chillin on the beach, whatevs. they’ll say something like this: “dane, can we come up on wednesday and shoot some lifestyle stuff?” that means i’ll put on some clothes and we’ll go eat lunch and i smile while they snap ‘lifestyle’ shots. or we’ll be on a trip and the photographer gets an email “we need some lifestyle shots in the boardshorts” and then the photographer takes photos of you on the beach in boardshorts. on this particular trip, we got lots of ‘lifestyle’ stuff. in fact that’s nearly all we got. i had one fun session, craig had zero.

here’s what happened. i hadn’t travelled in a few months because i gave myself an anxiety disorder from staying on the road too long without getting a chance to recuperate. i was feeling fairly recuperated when i got an email from kelly slater regarding hurricane leslie “if there’s ever been a storm to go to the east coast this is it. slabs, points, reefs etc” i thought this was a good opportunity to get back in the groove and booked a flight. now kelly is notorious for backing out on trips, and this was no different. hurricane leslie stalled out and turned up cold water and only sent a weak windswell. kelly, being much more in tune than we are, sensed this was going to happen and didn’t bother.

my favorite thing about this place was the lawns. everyone has a huge neatly mowed lawn. it’d cost a fortune to keep a lawn like that green in california but i think it rains enough here to stay green naturally.

the song is by the magnetic fields